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Alan King's Quotes


  Las Vegas turns women into men, and men into asses.  
 -  Alan King
  

  If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.  
 -  Alan King
  

  Modesty is not one of my virtues.  
 -  Alan King
  

  When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.  
 -  Alan King