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Bill Vaughan's Quotes


  It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it is another nonconformist who doesnt conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Either heaven or hell will have continuous background music. Which one you think it will be says a lot about you.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  As a nation, we are dedicated to keeping physically fit - and parking as close to the stadium as possible.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a huge research staff to study the problem.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  At the bank, post office or supermarket, there is one universal law which you ignore at your own peril: the shortest line moves the slowest.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  It might be a good idea if the various countries of the world would occasionally swap history books, just to see what other people are doing with the same set of facts.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  We learn something every day, and lots of times it is that what we learned the day before was wrong.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Muscles come and go; flab lasts.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Size isn't everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  One problem with growing older is that it gets increasingly tougher to find a famous historical figure who didn't amount to much when he was your age.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  In the next century it will be the early mechanical bird which gets the first plastic worm out of the artificial grass.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  In the game of life it is a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old one leaves.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  The tax collector must love poor people, he is creating so many of them.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Pipe-smokers spend so much time cleaning, filling and fooling with their pipes, they dont have time to get into mischief.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees then names the streets after them.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  If you think that one individual cant make a difference in the world, consider what one cigar can do in a nine-room house.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  As a nation, we are dedicated to keeping physically fit - and parking as close to the stadium as possible.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old one leaves.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  In the next century it will be the early mechanical bird which get the first plastic worm out of the artificial grass.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Size isn't everything. The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Pipe-smokers spend so much time cleaning, filling and fooling with their pipes, they don't have time to get into mischief.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Either heaven or hell will have continuous background music. Which one you think it will be says a lot about you.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old one leaves.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  At the bank, post office or supermarket, there is one universal law which you ignore at your own peril: the shortest line moves the slowest.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Pipe-smokers spend so much time cleaning, filling and fooling with their pipes, they don't have time to get into mischief.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  If you think that one individual can't make a difference in the world, consider what one cigar can do in a nine-room house.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.  
 -  Bill Vaughan
  

  The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.  
 -  Bill Vaughan