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Animal's Quotes


  Keep a dog for three days and he will not forget your kindness, but three years kindness shown to a cat is forgotten in three days.  
 -  Japanese proverb
  

  A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.  
 -  Chinese proverb
  

  A little dog can start a hare but it takes a big one to catch it.  
 -  Irish proverb
  

  Only when the last tree is cut, only when the last river is polluted, only when the last fish is caught, will they realize that you can't eat money.  
 -  Native American proverb
  

  Dogs wag their tails not so much in love to you as to your bread.  
 -  English proverb
  

  The snake grows with every repetition of the story.  
 -  Philippine proverb
  

  A living dog is better than a dead lion.  
 -  English proverb
  

  Join the community; the wolf snatches only the stray sheep that wanders off from the flock.  
 -  Jewish proverb
  

  Rocking chairs make long-tailed cats uneasy.  
 -  Mexican proverb
  

  Toads will bully frogs.  
 -  Vietnamese proverb
  

  A dog returns to where he has been fed.  
 -  American proverb
  

  Old pigs have hard snouts.  
 -  German proverb
  

  To the satiated bird, cherries taste bitter.  
 -  Mexican proverb
  

  What satisfies the pig also fattens him.  
 -  Serbo-Croatian proverb
  

  Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That's the problem.  
 -  A. A. Milne
  

  I am in favor of animal rights as well as human rights. That is the way of a whole human being.  
 -  Abraham Lincoln
  

  No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.  
 -  Abraham Lincoln
  

  Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.  
 -  Albert Einstein
  

  Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.  
 -  Albert Schweitzer
  

  There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.  
 -  Albert Schweitzer
  

  To his dog, every man is Napoleon - hence the constant popularity of dogs.  
 -  Aldous Huxley
  

  I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.  
 -  Alfred Hitchcock
  

  The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any more than black people were made for white, or women created for men.  
 -  Alice Walker
  

  The animals of the planet are in desperate peril. Without free animal life I believe we will lose the spiritual equivalent of oxygen.  
 -  Alice Walker
  

  The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.  
 -  Andy Rooney
  

  If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.  
 -  Andy Rooney
  

  Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.  
 -  Ann Landers
  

  In Britain, a dog is for Christmas. In Korea, it could be for breakfast, lunch or dinner.  
 -  Anon
  

  Man, when perfected, is the best of animals, but when separated from law and justice, he is the worst of all.  
 -  Aristotle
  

  The assumption that animals are without rights, and the illusion that our treatment of them has no moral significance, is a positively outrageous example of Western crudity and barbarity. Universal compassion in the only guarantee of morality.  
 -  Arthur Schopenhauer
  

  I'm half-Irish, half-Dutch and I was born in Belgium. If I was a dog - I'd be in a hell of a mess!  
 -  Audrey Hepburn
  

  I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.  
 -  August Strindberg
  

  Man's unique reward, however, is that while animals survive by adjusting themselves to their background, man survives by adjusting his background to himself.  
 -  Ayn Rand
  

  It's not until you're an adult you appreciate how awesome a dog is. Your dreams start dying, somebody cheats on you, bankers fuck up your 401 k, 'ya know? Then you come home and that dog's looking at you and he's like, 'Dude, you're awesome!' It's like, 'No dude, you are fucking awesome!'  
 -  Bill Burr
  

  I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It's not. Mine has trained me in two days.  
 -  Bill Dana
  

  A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.  
 -  Buddha
  

  The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man.  
 -  Charles Darwin
  

  In the long history of humankind, and animal kind too, those who learned to collaborate and improvise most effectively have prevailed.  
 -  Charles Darwin
  

  Happiness is a warm puppy.  
 -  Charles Schulz
  

  Chuck Norris's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.  
 -  Chuck Norris jokes
  

  A zebra cannot change its spots.  
 -  Dan Quayle
  

  Ants are tiny creatures with a primitive brain no larger than that of a psychic-hotline caller.  
 -  Dave Barry
  

  I took a walk in Central Park and got all excited when I thought I saw a robin redbreast. Turned out to be a pigeon with a knife wound.  
 -  David Letterman
  

  The winner of the Westminster Dog Show gets to drink champagne - out of the toilet.  
 -  David Letterman
  

  In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.  
 -  Dereke Bruce
  

  Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them.  
 -  Diogenes
  

  Those who wish to pet and baby wild animals love them. But those who respect their natures and wish to let them live normal lives, love them more.  
 -  Edwin Way Teale
  

  I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.  
 -  Ellen DeGeneres
  

  Penguins mate for life. Which doesn't exactly surprise me that much 'cause they all look alike - it's not like they're gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.  
 -  Ellen DeGeneres
  

  Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses, and have streamers in their antlers because then then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.  
 -  Ellen DeGeneres
  

  Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.  
 -  Erma Bombeck
  

  My favorite animal is steak.  
 -  Fran Lebowitz
  

  A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that is surprised by its own farts.  
 -  Frank Skinner
  

  Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.  
 -  Franklin P. Jones
  

  The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.  
 -  Friedrich Nietzsche
  

  People speak sometimes about the 'bestial' cruelty of man, but that is terribly unjust and offensive to beasts. No animal could ever be so cruel as a man, so artfully, so artistically cruel.  
 -  Fyodor Dostoyevsky
  

  Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled  
 -  Fyodor Dostoyevsky
  

  Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.  
 -  Garrison Keillor
  

  Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends.  
 -  George Bernard Shaw
  

  Meow means 'woof' in cat.  
 -  George Carlin
  

  Dogs have a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.  
 -  George Carlin
  

  When it's us, it's an abortion; when it's a chicken, it's an omelette.  
 -  George Carlin
  

  Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.  
 -  George Eliot
  

  The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.  
 -  George Orwell
  

  All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.  
 -  George Orwell
  

  Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals.  
 -  George Orwell
  

  Four legs good, two legs bad.  
 -  George Orwell, Animal Farm
  

  Animals have two functions in today's society: to be delicious and to fit well.  
 -  Greg Proops
  

  Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.  
 -  Groucho Marx
  

  Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.  
 -  Groucho Marx
  

  It is much easier to show compassions to animals. They are never wicked.  
 -  Haile Selassie
  

  If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.  
 -  Harry Truman
  

  It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians.  
 -  Henrik Ibsen
  

  The dog is the god of frolic.  
 -  Henry Ward Beecher
  

  The monkey is an organized sarcasm upon the human race.  
 -  Henry Ward Beecher
  

  A racehorse is the only animal that can take thousands of people for a ride at the same time.  
 -  Herbert Prochnow
  

  I like animals as much as the next guy, but if I'm hungry, I'll eat a panda sandwich.  
 -  Howard Stern
  

  Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.  
 -  Garrison Keillor
  

  Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends.  
 -  George Bernard Shaw
  

  Meow means 'woof' in cat.  
 -  George Carlin
  

  Dogs have a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.  
 -  George Carlin
  

  When it's us, it's an abortion; when it's a chicken, it's an omelette.  
 -  George Carlin
  

  Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.  
 -  George Eliot
  

  The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.  
 -  George Orwell
  

  All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.  
 -  George Orwell
  

  Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals.  
 -  George Orwell
  

  Four legs good, two legs bad.  
 -  George Orwell, Animal Farm
  

  Animals have two functions in today's society: to be delicious and to fit well.  
 -  Greg Proops
  

  Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.  
 -  Groucho Marx
  

  Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.  
 -  Groucho Marx
  

  It is much easier to show compassions to animals. They are never wicked.  
 -  Haile Selassie
  

  If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.  
 -  Harry Truman
  

  It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians.  
 -  Henrik Ibsen
  

  The dog is the god of frolic.  
 -  Henry Ward Beecher
  

  The monkey is an organized sarcasm upon the human race.  
 -  Henry Ward Beecher
  

  A racehorse is the only animal that can take thousands of people for a ride at the same time.  
 -  Herbert Prochnow
  

  I like animals as much as the next guy, but if I'm hungry, I'll eat a panda sandwich.  
 -  Howard Stern
  

  The horse is dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle.  
 -  Ian Fleming
  

  We must plant the sea and herd its animals using the sea as farmers instead of hunters. That is what civilization is all about - farming replacing hunting.  
 -  Jacques-Yves Cousteau
  

  Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture and death of his fellow creatures is amusing in itself.  
 -  James A. Froude
  

  If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans.  
 -  James Herriot
  

  The rhinoceros is an animal with a hide two feet thick, and no apparent interest in politics. What a waste.  
 -  James Wright
  

  A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: if you spend $12.99 on the video, your dog is smarter than you.  
 -  Jay Leno
  

  Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow.  
 -  Jeff Valdez
  

  Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?  
 -  Jerry Seinfeld
  

  Why do dogs have no money? No pockets.  
 -  Jerry Seinfeld
  

  When insects take over the world, we hope they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.  
 -  Jim Koser
  

  Some people take better care of their pets than they do themselves. Their animals can run like the wind and they can barely make it up a flight of stairs.  
 -  Jim Rohn
  

  I bought a pedigree dog for 300$. My friend said, 'Give me 300$ and I'll shit on your carpet.'  
 -  Joan Rivers
  

  I don't dislike animals but eyeliner is important in my life. If ten chickens have to die to make one drag queen happy, so be it.  
 -  John Waters
  

  Animals pick up your fear vibrations and snap at you. If you love animals, they will never attack you. Many undisciplined human beings are just as sensitive as animals as dogs, cats, and other animals.  
 -  Joseph Murphy
  

  A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.  
 -  Josh Billings
  

  If the animals had reason, they would act just as ridiculous as we menfolks do.  
 -  Josh Billings
  

  They say that dog is a man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you had neutered?  
 -  Larry Reeb
  

  A man can live and be healthy without killing animals for food; therefore, if he eats meat, he participates in taking animal life merely for the sake of his appetite. And to act so is immoral.  
 -  Leo Tolstoy
  

  The time will come when men such as I will look upon the murder of animals as they now look on the murder of men.  
 -  Leonardo da Vinci
  

  Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God... I could be eating a slow learner.  
 -  Lynda Montgomery
  

  The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.  
 -  Mahatma Gandhi
  

  Dogs never bite me. Just humans.  
 -  Marilyn Monroe
  

  If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.  
 -  Mark Twain
  

  Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.  
 -  Mark Twain
  

  Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.  
 -  Mark Twain
  

  Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so. It's the sickening grammar they use.  
 -  Mark Twain
  

  We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.  
 -  Mark Twain
  

  If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.  
 -  Mark Twain
  

  I like a thin book because it will steady a table; a leather volume because it will stop a razor; and a heavy book because it can be thrown at a cat.  
 -  Mark Twain
  

  Dogs come when they are called. Cats take a message and get back to you.  
 -  Mary Bly
  

  Americans used to roar like lions for liberty; now we bleat like sheep for security.  
 -  Norman Vincent Peale
  

  God in His wisdom made the fly, and then forgot to tell us why.  
 -  Ogden Nash
  

  Even a dog knows the difference between being kicked and being stumbled over.  
 -  Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
  

  You don't need to hire a dog therapist, you just need to wake up at 7.00 am and open the fucking door.  
 -  Ozzy Osbourne
  

  You can judge a man's true character by the way he treats his fellow animals.  
 -  Paul McCartney
  

  Monkeys and apes have the ability to speak but keep silent to avoid being put to work.  
 -  Rene Descartes
  

  My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.  
 -  Rita Rudner
  

  Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.  
 -  Robert A. Heinlein
  

  Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of time and besides it annoys the pig.  
 -  Robert A. Heinlein
  

  It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.  
 -  Rodney Dangerfield
  

  Don't allow your animal nature to rule your reason.  
 -  Rumi
  

  Confront a child, a puppy, and a kitten with a sudden danger; the child will turn instinctively for assistance, the puppy will grovel in abject submission to the impending visitation, the kitten will brace its tiny body for a frantic resistance.  
 -  Saki
  

  The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.  
 -  Samuel Butler
  

  All animals except man know that the ultimate goal of life is to enjoy it.  
 -  Samuel Butler
  

  The cat is the animal to whom the Creator gave the biggest eye, the softest fur, the most supremely delicate nostrils, a mobile ear, an unrivaled paw and a curved claw borrowed from the rose-tree.  
 -  Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette
  

  Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.  
 -  Sigmund Freud
  

  I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.  
 -  Sir Winston Churchill
  

  If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?  
 -  Steven Wright
  

  Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.  
 -  Sue Murphy
  

  Some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.  
 -  The Office, 2005
  

  Going vegetarian may be the most effective way to fight global warming. Buddhist practitioners have practiced vegetarianism over the last 2000 years. We are vegetarian with the intention to nourish our compassion towards the animals. Now we also know that we eat vegetarian in order to protect the earth.  
 -  Thich Nhat Hanh
  

  Man is an imitative animal. This quality is the germ of all education in him. From his cradle to his grave he is learning to do what he sees others do.  
 -  Thomas Jefferson
  

  A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him.' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' What? Because he's cross-eyed? 'No, because he's really heavy.'  
 -  Tommy Cooper
  

  Why is there a show called When animals attack? It should be called When stupid people go near dangerous animals.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Did you know that when a penguin finds it's mate, they stay together forever? Will you be my penguin?  
 -  Unknown
  

  I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.  
 -  Unknown
  

  I like birds, they can fly away when things get too crazy.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Dear Facebook peeps: Please stop showing photos of animal cruelty and dead pets. If I want to be depressed I'll just youtube the Sarah M commercial.  
 -  Unknown
  

  What if birds aren't singing, they're just screaming because they're scared of heights?  
 -  Unknown
  

  I like turtles because they're so chill. They don't hurt anyone. They're just like, 'Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce...'  
 -  Unknown
  

  I wonder if cats worry about ending up living alone with socially awkward teenagers.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Compassion for animals is intimately connected with goodness of character; and it may be confidently asserted that he who is cruel to animals cannot be a good man.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Is wondering who was the first to look at a cow and think: I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!  
 -  Unknown
  

  I love pandas, they're so chill. They are all like 'Dude, racism is stupid. I'm White, Black, and Asian...'  
 -  Unknown
  

  There is only one dangerous breed: HUMANS  
 -  Unknown
  

  Admit it, we all feel much worse for the homeless guy's dog than we do for the homeless guy.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Love birds never separate and they say birds of a feather flock together. Even animals and birds know the language of love. Love is all abounding and romance is a beautiful part of it.  
 -  Unknown
  

  I'm all for killing animals and turning them into handbags. I just don't want to have to eat them.  
 -  Victoria Wood
  

  I have a great dog. She's half Lab, half pitbull. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me.  
 -  Wanda Lane
  

  If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.  
 -  Will Rogers
  

  No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he's got a dog he's got a friend and the poorer he gets the better friend he has.  
 -  Will Rogers
  

  Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are, and what they ought to be.  
 -  William Hazlitt
  

  If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.  
 -  Woodrow Wilson