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Food's Quotes


  Whiskey when you're sick makes you well. Whiskey makes you sick when you're well.  
 -  Irish proverb
  

  Onion treats seven ailments.  
 -  Russian proverb
  

  First the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man.  
 -  Japanese proverb
  

  If one eats less, one will taste more.  
 -  Chinese proverb
  

  Wine renews the passion of lovers, and the hatred of enemies.  
 -  Jewish proverb
  

  There is more friendship in a half pint of whiskey than in a churn of buttermilk.  
 -  Irish proverb
  

  If you drink you die, if you don't drink you die, so it is better to drink.  
 -  Russian proverb
  

  Wine sets an edge to wit.  
 -  English proverb
  

  Do not refuse the body what it asks for.  
 -  Mexican proverb
  

  Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.  
 -  Adelle Davis
  

  A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.  
 -  Aesop
  

  It is my view that the vegetarian manner of living, by its purely physical effect on the human temperament, would most beneficially influence the lot of mankind.  
 -  Albert Einstein
  

  An empty stomach is not a good political advisor.  
 -  Albert Einstein
  

  Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.  
 -  Alex Levine
  

  We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.  
 -  Alfred E. Newman
  

  Conversation is the enemy of good wine and food.  
 -  Alfred Hitchcock
  

  The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.  
 -  Andy Rooney
  

  Vegetarian – that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.  
 -  Andy Rooney
  

  I love Thanksgiving turkey; it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.  
 -  Arnold Schwarzenegger
  

  To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.  
 -  Benjamin Franklin
  

  An American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.  
 -  Bill Cosby
  

  We got so much food in America we're allergic to food. Allergic to food! Hungry people ain't allergic to shit. You think anyone in Rwanda's got a f***ing lactose intolerance?  
 -  Chris Rock
  

  You know you've had too much to eat for Christmas dinner when you slump down onto a beanbag and realize... there is no beanbag.  
 -  David Letterman
  

  If you find a better way to be happy than by overeating, your body will naturally return to its balanced state.  
 -  Deepak Chopra
  

  I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.  
 -  Dick Cavett
  

  Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.  
 -  Doug Larson
  

  Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face.  
 -  Enrico Caruso
  

  I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.  
 -  Erma Bombeck
  

  Progress in civilization has been accompanied by progress in cookery.  
 -  Fannie Farmer
  

  Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.  
 -  Fran Lebowitz
  

  A salad is not a meal. It is a style.  
 -  Fran Lebowitz
  

  The golden rule when reading the menu is, if you cannot pronounce it, you cannot afford it.  
 -  Frank Muir
  

  Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.  
 -  G. K. Chesterton
  

  Wine is sunlight, held together by water.  
 -  Galileo Galilei
  

  There is no love sincerer than the love of food.  
 -  George Bernard Shaw
  

  We may find in the long run that tinned food is a deadlier weapon than the machine-gun.  
 -  George Orwell
  

  Water is the only drink for a wise man.  
 -  Henry David Thoreau
  

  You can travel fifty thousand miles in America without once tasting a piece of good bread.  
 -  Henry Miller
  

  Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.  
 -  Hippocrates
  

  Wine can of their wits the wise beguile, make the sage frolic, and the serious smile.  
 -  Homer
  

  Here's to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life's problems.  
 -  Homer Simpson
  

  Wine is sunlight, held together by water.  
 -  Galileo Galilei
  

  There is no love sincerer than the love of food.  
 -  George Bernard Shaw
  

  We may find in the long run that tinned food is a deadlier weapon than the machine-gun.  
 -  George Orwell
  

  Water is the only drink for a wise man.  
 -  Henry David Thoreau
  

  You can travel fifty thousand miles in America without once tasting a piece of good bread.  
 -  Henry Miller
  

  Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.  
 -  Hippocrates
  

  Wine can of their wits the wise beguile, make the sage frolic, and the serious smile.  
 -  Homer
  

  Here's to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life's problems.  
 -  Homer Simpson
  

  A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.  
 -  James Beard
  

  Soup is just a way of screwing you out of a meal.  
 -  Jay Leno
  

  Nourish the mind like you would your body. The mind cannot survive on junk food.  
 -  Jim Rohn
  

  All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.  
 -  John Gunther
  

  In America, a parent puts food in front of a child and says, 'Eat it, it's good for you.' In Europe, the parent says, 'Eat it, it's good.'  
 -  John Levee
  

  Ever wondered about those people who spend 2$ a throw on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.  
 -  Jon Stewart
  

  Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.  
 -  Josh Billings
  

  How can a nation be called great if its bread tastes like kleenex?  
 -  Julia Child
  

  Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one.  
 -  L. M. Boyd
  

  Give a man food, and he can eat for a day. Give a man a job, and he can only eat for 30 minutes on break.  
 -  Lev L. Spiro
  

  A dinner lubricates business.  
 -  Lord William Stowell
  

  Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.  
 -  Louis Pasteur
  

  Tea tempers the spirit, harmonizes the mind, dispels lassitude and relieves fatigue, awakens the thought and prevents drowsiness.  
 -  Lu Yu
  

  Why so many different dishes? Man sinks almost to the level of an animal when eating becomes his chief pleasure.  
 -  Ludwig von Beethoven
  

  Drink is more a disease than a vice.  
 -  Mahatma Gandhi
  

  Cookery is not chemistry. It is an art. It requires instinct and taste rather than exact measurements.  
 -  Marcel Boulestin
  

  Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.  
 -  Mark Twain
  

  Adam was but human - this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden.  
 -  Mark Twain
  

  I went to dinner, which was served in a small private room of the club with the usual piano and fiddlers present to make conversation difficult and comfort impossible.  
 -  Mark Twain
  

  White bread: I cringe every time I see a child eating a sandwich made out of American white bread. Give them whole wheat or rye if you love them.  
 -  Marlene Dietrich
  

  Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.  
 -  Mary Pettibone Poole
  

  Just because something's toxic doesn't mean it's not tasty.  
 -  Matthew J. Siske
  

  I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.  
 -  Mitch Hedberg
  

  The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce.  
 -  Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
  

  After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relatives.  
 -  Oscar Wilde
  

  Wine gives courage and makes men more apt for passion.  
 -  Ovid
  

  Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.  
 -  P. J. O'Rourke
  

  Figs are restorative, and the best food that can be taken by those who are brought low by long sickness. Professed wrestlers and champions were in times past fed with figs.  
 -  Pliny
  

  Salt is born of the purest parents: The sun and the sea.  
 -  Pythagoras
  

  Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry gets the best of the argument.  
 -  Richard Whately
  

  I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.  
 -  Rita Rudner
  

  There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't and that's a wife who can't cook and will.  
 -  Robert Frost
  

  There is only one difference betwen a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.  
 -  Robert Louis Stevenson
  

  Wine is bottled poetry.  
 -  Robert Louis Stevenson
  

  I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it - after all, they've already given us tasteless bread.  
 -  Robert Orben
  

  Health food may be good for the conscience but Oreos taste a hell of a lot better.  
 -  Robert Redford
  

  The first time I ate whole-grain bread I swear it tasted like roofing material.  
 -  Robin Williams
  

  I prefer my oysters fried. That way I know my oysters died.  
 -  Roy G. Blount, Jr.
  

  Hors d'oeuvres have always a pathetic interest for me; they remind me of one's childhood that one goes through wondering what the next course is going to be like - and during the rest of the menu one wishes one had eaten more of the hors d'oeuvres.  
 -  Saki
  

  A cucumber should be well-sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.  
 -  Samuel Johnson
  

  Hamburgers: the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.  
 -  Samuel L. Jackson, Pulp Fiction
  

  Strange to see how a good dinner and feasting reconciles everybody.  
 -  Samuel Pepys
  

  My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked.  
 -  Sir Winston Churchill
  

  Everything you see I owe to pasta.  
 -  Sophia Loren
  

  The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.  
 -  Steven Wright
  

  I said to my wife, 'I can't eat this beef stew.' She said, 'Shut up! It's custard pie!'  
 -  Tommy Cooper
  

  Number one rule of dieting: If it tastes good, spit it out.  
 -  Unknown
  

  I hate when the microwave decides to heat my plate, but not my food.  
 -  Unknown
  

  No matter what anyone says, my cooking is excellent, even the smoke alarm seems to be cheering me on!  
 -  Unknown
  

  Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.  
 -  Unknown
  

  I hate when I'm eating cereal and the last 5 pieces are like 'You can't catch me!'  
 -  Unknown
  

  Dear McDonald's, Thank you for not selling hot dogs. I don't think I could order a McWiener with a straight face.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Normal teenagers sneak out and leave. Me? I sneak into the kitchen and bring all the food to my room.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Brushing your teeth before having breakfast is like wiping your ass before having a shit.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Hey Vegetarians, my food shits on your food.  
 -  Unknown
  

  My mind says Victoria Secret model, but my heart says chocolate, pizza, food.  
 -  Unknown
  

  I like food and sleep. So if I give you my food, or text you late at night, you are special to me.  
 -  Unknown
  

  The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.  
 -  Unknown
  

  A fat person doesn't eat what's right but eats what's left.  
 -  Unknown
  

  I hate it when someone else takes the piece of food I mentally claimed...  
 -  Unknown
  

  Admit it. You hide your favorite food somewhere in the fridge from the rest of your family.  
 -  Unknown
  

  The food channel is basically just porn for your stomach.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Fine. Don't respond to my text. I like food better than I like you anyways.  
 -  Unknown
  

  My children won't even eat chips because some know-all bastard at school told them a potato was a vegetable.  
 -  Victoria Wood
  

  The best wine is the oldest, the best water the newest.  
 -  William Blake
  

  Presently we were aware of an odour gradually coming towards us, something musky, savoury, mysterious; a hot drowsy smell that lulls the senses, and yet enflames them - the truffles were coming.  
 -  William Makepeace Thackeray
  

  Things sweet to taste prove in digestion sour.  
 -  William Shakespeare
  

  Drink provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.  
 -  William Shakespeare, Macbeth
  

  An airline is a great place to diet.  
 -  Wolfgang Puck
  

  I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded: dead.  
 -  Woody Allen
  

  You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.  
 -  Yogi Berra