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Law/Lawyer's Quotes


  A good lawyer makes a bad neighbour.  
 -  English proverb
  

  He that goes to law holds a wolf by the ears.  
 -  English proverb
  

  As fast as laws are devised, their evasion is contrived.  
 -  German proverb
  

  Law is costly; shake hands and be friends.  
 -  Irish proverb
  

  Proprietary governs the superior man; law, the inferior man.  
 -  Chinese proverb
  

  God wanted to chastise man so he sent lawyers.  
 -  Russian proverb
  

  Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish.  
 -  English proverb
  

  Fear not the law, but the judge.  
 -  Russian proverb
  

  Laws too gentle are seldom obeyed; too severe, seldom executed.  
 -  American proverb
  

  It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.  
 -  Chinese proverb
  

  A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client.  
 -  English proverb
  

  Good laws often proceed from bad manners.  
 -  English proverb
  

  Laws catch flies but let hornets go free.  
 -  English proverb
  

  A cunning lawyer beats the devil.  
 -  American proverb
  

  Law governs man, and reason the law.  
 -  English proverb
  

  Lawyers are bad Christians.  
 -  German proverb
  

  Don't take every ill to the doctor, or every quarrel to the lawyer, or every thirst to the tavern.  
 -  Uruguayan proverb
  

  He who has a lawsuit should go to a judge.  
 -  Jewish proverb
  

  Though annoyed to death, do not file a lawsuit.  
 -  Chinese proverb
  

  Law is a flag, and gold is the wind that makes it wave.  
 -  Russian proverb
  

  The law says what the king pleases.  
 -  French proverb
  

  To know the law and do the right are two things.  
 -  Danish proverb
  

  Lawyers play thunder with lives and property trusted to them.  
 -  American proverb
  

  Self-preservation is the first law of nature.  
 -  Japanese proverb
  

  Win your lawsuit and lose your money.  
 -  Chinese proverb
  

  Law is like a telephone pool: you can't jump over it, but you can get around it.  
 -  Russian proverb
  

  The law turns on golden wheels.  
 -  Rumanian proverb
  

  With a young lawyer you lose your inheritance; with a young doctor your health.  
 -  Swedish proverb
  

  A wise lawyer never goes to law himself.  
 -  English proverb
  

  Kick an attorney downstairs and he will stick to you for life.  
 -  English proverb
  

  The law of the city is the citizen's honor.  
 -  Greek proverb
  

  Resolve to be honest at all events; and if, in your own judgement, you cannot be an honest lawyer, resolve to be honest without being a lawyer. Choose some other occupation.  
 -  Abraham Lincoln
  

  Pray, v. To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.  
 -  Ambrose Bierce
  

  A lawyer is the larval stage of a politician.  
 -  Ambrose Bierce
  

  The only real difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road is that there are skid marks around the skunk.  
 -  Anon
  

  The law is reason unaffected by desire.  
 -  Aristotle
  

  Man, when perfected, is the best of animals, but when separated from law and justice, he is the worst of all.  
 -  Aristotle
  

  The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law.  
 -  Aristotle
  

  Law is order, and good law is good order.  
 -  Aristotle
  

  Human judges can show mercy. But against the laws of nature, there is no appeal.  
 -  Arthur C. Clarke
  

  The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws.  
 -  Ayn Rand
  

  Free competition enforced by law is a grotesque contradiction in terms.  
 -  Ayn Rand
  

  When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken.  
 -  Benjamin Disraeli
  

  A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.  
 -  Benjamin Franklin
  

  Where there is hunger, law is not regarded; and where law is not regarded, there will be hunger.  
 -  Benjamin Franklin
  

  A self-willed man obeys a different law, the one law I, too, hold absolutely sacred - the human law in himself, his own individual will.  
 -  Bruce Lee
  

  I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement.  
 -  Calvin Coolidge
  

  A government must govern, must prescribe and enforce laws within its sphere or cease to be a government. Moreover, the individual must be independent and free within his own sphere or cease to be an individual. The fundamental question is now, and always will be through what adjustments, by what actions, these principles may be applied.  
 -  Calvin Coolidge
  

  Revolt and terror pay a price. Order and law have a cost.  
 -  Carl Sandburg
  

  Divorce is a game played by lawyers.  
 -  Cary Grant
  

  The one great principle of the English law is to make business for itself.  
 -  Charles Dickens
  

  If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.  
 -  Charles Dickens
  

  Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.  
 -  Charles Lamb
  

  The phrase 'rule of thumb' is derived from an old English law that states that Chuck Norris couldn't beat your wife with anything smaller than his thumb.  
 -  Chuck Norris jokes
  

  Laws are silent in times of war.  
 -  Cicero
  

  The welfare of the people is the ultimate law.  
 -  Cicero
  

  We are in bondage to the law in order that we may be free.  
 -  Cicero
  

  Our homeland is the whole world. Our law is liberty. We have but one thought, revolution in our hearts.  
 -  Dario Fo
  

  Organizational structures can be found throughout nature. Monkeys form troops, birds form flocks, fish form schools, intestinal parasites form law firms.  
 -  Dave Barry
  

  You can tell an attorney by all the books of equal height on his shelf.  
 -  Dave Barry
  

  Lawyers are like rhinoceroses - thick-skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge.  
 -  David Mellor
  

  Bad laws are the worst sort of tyranny.  
 -  Edmund Burke
  

  People crushed by law, have no hopes but from power. If laws are their enemies, they will be enemies to laws; and those who have much to hope and nothing to lose, will always be dangerous.  
 -  Edmund Burke
  

  Laws, like houses, lean on one another.  
 -  Edmund Burke
  

  All prayers are basically a request: 'Please break the laws of the physical universe for my convenience. Amen.'  
 -  Emo Philips
  

  Children ask better questions than adults. 'May I have a cookie?' 'Why is the sky blue?' and What does a cow say? are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than 'Where's your manuscript?', 'Why haven't you called?' and 'Who's your lawyer?'  
 -  Fran Lebowitz
  

  Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are in my opinion more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality.  
 -  Frank Zappa
  

  The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.  
 -  Frank Zappa
  

  Those who cherish their freedom and recognize and respect the equal right of their neighbors to be free and live in peace must work together for the triumph of law and moral principles in order that peace, justice, and confidence may prevail in the world.  
 -  Franklin D. Roosevelt
  

  A lawyer is a person who writes a ten-thousand-word document and calls it a brief.  
 -  Franz Kafka
  

  Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt from jury duty.  
 -  George Bernard Shaw
  

  And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'  
 -  George Burns
  

  I was married by a judge - I should have asked for a jury.  
 -  George Burns
  

  Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?  
 -  George Carlin
  

  The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.  
 -  George Carlin
  

  Laws are generally not understood by three sorts of persons, viz. by those who make them, by those who execute them, and by those who suffer, if they break them.  
 -  George Savile
  

  If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place.  
 -  George Savile
  

  The legislature's job is to write law. It's the executive branch's job to interpret law.  
 -  George W. Bush
  

  Law and justice are not always the same. When they aren't, destroying the law may be the first step toward changing it.  
 -  Gloria Steinem
  

  The average newspaper, especially of the better sort, has the intelligence of a hillbilly evangelist, the courage of a rat, the fairness of a prohibitionist boob-jumper, the information of a high school janitor, the taste of a designer of celluloid valentines, and the honor of a police-station lawyer.  
 -  H. L. Mencken
  

  You're a high-priced lawyer! If I gave you $500, will you answer two questions for me? Absolutely. What's the second question?  
 -  Hal Burton
  

  It's not the hand that signs the laws that holds the destiny of America. It's the hand that casts the ballot.  
 -  Harry Truman
  

  Law school taught me one thing: how to take two situations that are exactly the same and show how they are different  
 -  Hart Pomerantz
  

  Happiness is the final and perfect fruit of obedience to the laws of life.  
 -  Helen Keller
  

  The law will never make men free, it is men that have to make the law free.  
 -  Henry David Thoreau
  

  A guy calls his lawyer. He says, 'Can I ask you two questions?' Lawyer says, 'What's the second one?'  
 -  Henry Youngman
  

  We cannot expect people to have respect for law and order until we teach respect to those we have entrusted to enforce those laws.  
 -  Hunter S. Thompson
  

  As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so.  
 -  Hunter S. Thompson
  

  The highways are crowded with people who drive as if their sole purpose in getting behind the wheel is to avenge every wrong done them by man, beast or fate. The only thing that keeps them in line is their fear of death, jail and lawsuits.  
 -  Hunter S. Thompson
  

  Only lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt from jury duty.  
 -  George Bernard Shaw
  

  And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'  
 -  George Burns
  

  I was married by a judge - I should have asked for a jury.  
 -  George Burns
  

  Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?  
 -  George Carlin
  

  The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.  
 -  George Carlin
  

  Laws are generally not understood by three sorts of persons, viz. by those who make them, by those who execute them, and by those who suffer, if they break them.  
 -  George Savile
  

  If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place.  
 -  George Savile
  

  The legislature's job is to write law. It's the executive branch's job to interpret law.  
 -  George W. Bush
  

  Law and justice are not always the same. When they aren't, destroying the law may be the first step toward changing it.  
 -  Gloria Steinem
  

  The average newspaper, especially of the better sort, has the intelligence of a hillbilly evangelist, the courage of a rat, the fairness of a prohibitionist boob-jumper, the information of a high school janitor, the taste of a designer of celluloid valentines, and the honor of a police-station lawyer.  
 -  H. L. Mencken
  

  You're a high-priced lawyer! If I gave you $500, will you answer two questions for me? Absolutely. What's the second question?  
 -  Hal Burton
  

  It's not the hand that signs the laws that holds the destiny of America. It's the hand that casts the ballot.  
 -  Harry Truman
  

  Law school taught me one thing: how to take two situations that are exactly the same and show how they are different  
 -  Hart Pomerantz
  

  Happiness is the final and perfect fruit of obedience to the laws of life.  
 -  Helen Keller
  

  The law will never make men free, it is men that have to make the law free.  
 -  Henry David Thoreau
  

  A guy calls his lawyer. He says, 'Can I ask you two questions?' Lawyer says, 'What's the second one?'  
 -  Henry Youngman
  

  We cannot expect people to have respect for law and order until we teach respect to those we have entrusted to enforce those laws.  
 -  Hunter S. Thompson
  

  As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so.  
 -  Hunter S. Thompson
  

  The highways are crowded with people who drive as if their sole purpose in getting behind the wheel is to avenge every wrong done them by man, beast or fate. The only thing that keeps them in line is their fear of death, jail and lawsuits.  
 -  Hunter S. Thompson
  

  The Scottish verdict 'not proven' means, 'guilty, but don't do it again.'  
 -  J. C. Morton
  

  Justice must not only be seen to be done but has to be seen to be believed.  
 -  J. C. Morton
  

  In Washington DC, there are more lawyers than people.  
 -  Jed Larson
  

  Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished.  
 -  Jeremy Bentham
  

  My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.  
 -  Jerry Seinfeld
  

  I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a disgrace, that two become a law firm, and that three or more become a congress.  
 -  John Adams
  

  Wherever law ends, tyranny begins.  
 -  John Locke
  

  The end of law is not to abolish or restrain, but to preserve and enlarge freedom.  
 -  John Locke
  

  Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.'  
 -  Johnny Carson
  

  Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.  
 -  Jonathan Swift
  

  If you must break the law, do it to seize power. In all other cases observe it.  
 -  Julius Caesar
  

  My definition of total waste is a coach load of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats.  
 -  Lamar Hunt
  

  The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.  
 -  Lao Tzu
  

  When there are too many policemen, there can be no liberty. When there are too many soldiers, there can be no peace. When there are too many lawyers, there can be no justice.  
 -  Lin Yutang
  

  Restraint is the law of our being. For highest perfection is unattainable without highest restraint.  
 -  Mahatma Gandhi
  

  If man will only realize that it is unmanly to obey laws that are unjust, no man's tyranny will enslave him. This is the key to self- and home-rule.  
 -  Mahatma Gandhi
  

  Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery.  
 -  Malcolm X
  

  The contempt for law and the contempt for the human consequences of lawbreaking go from the bottom to the top of American society.  
 -  Margaret Mead
  

  A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns.  
 -  Mario Puzo
  

  Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.  
 -  Mark Twain
  

  There are written laws - they perish. But there are also unwritten laws - they are eternal.  
 -  Mark Twain
  

  Where every man has a vote, brutal laws are impossible.  
 -  Mark Twain
  

  If laws acting upon private interests can not always be avoided, they should be confined within the narrowest limits, and left wherever possible to the legislatures of the States.  
 -  Martin Van Buren
  

  Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer.  
 -  Milton Berle
  

  There are so many laws that no one is safe from hanging.  
 -  Napoleon Bonaparte
  

  I hate lawyers, but they do make excellent psychiatric patients. They have excellent health insurance, and they never get better.  
 -  Niles Crane, Frasier
  

  When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.  
 -  Norm Crosby
  

  Laws are like sausages: It's better not to see them being made.  
 -  Otto von Bismarck
  

  Laws are like medicine: They generally cure an evil by a lesser or a passing evil.  
 -  Otto von Bismarck
  

  He can who thinks he can, and he can't who thinks he can't. This is an inexorable, indisputable law.  
 -  Pablo Picasso
  

  A lawyer will do anything to win a case. Sometimes, he will even tell the truth.  
 -  Patrick Murray
  

  As soon as laws are necessary for men, they are no longer fit for freedom.  
 -  Pythagoras
  

  Every law that was ever written opened up a new way to graft.  
 -  Robert A. Heinlein
  

  A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.  
 -  Robert Frost
  

  Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.  
 -  Robin Hall
  

  I've yet to read an obituary that says, 'he died peacefully in his sleep surrounded by his lawyer, his stockbroker and his accountant.'  
 -  Robin Sharma
  

  Shakespeare wrote, 'Kill all the lawyers.' That was before agents.  
 -  Robin Williams
  

  We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.  
 -  Ronald Reagan
  

  One legislator accused me of having a nineteenth-century attitude on law and order. That is a totally false charge. I have an eighteenth-century attitude. That is when the Founding Fathers made it clear that the safety of law-abiding citizens should be one of the government's primary concerns.  
 -  Ronald Reagan
  

  An unjust law is no law at all.  
 -  Saint Augustine
  

  Laws do not persuade because they threaten.  
 -  Seneca
  

  Modesty forbids what the law does not.  
 -  Seneca
  

  Revenge is a kind of wild justice, which the more man's nature runs to, the more ought law to weed it out.  
 -  Sir Francis Bacon
  

  If you have ten thousand regulations, you destroy all respect for the law.  
 -  Sir Winston Churchill
  

  It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half is doing it.  
 -  Sir Winston Churchill
  

  No more force should be used than is necessary to insure compliance with the law.  
 -  Sir Winston Churchill
  

  99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.  
 -  Steven Wright
  

  I broke a mirror in my house, which is supposed to be seven years of bad luck. My lawyer thinks he can get me five.  
 -  Steven Wright
  

  I urge you to study law. A man who never graduated from school might steal from a freight car. But a man who graduates as a lawyer might steal the whole railroad.  
 -  Theodore Roosevelt
  

  No man is above the law and no man is below it; nor do we ask any man's permission when we require him to obey it. Obedience of the law is demanded; not asked as a favor.  
 -  Theodore Roosevelt
  

  Laws made by common consent must not be trampled on by individuals.  
 -  Thomas Jefferson
  

  For as in absolute governments the king is law, so in free countries the law ought to be king and there ought to be no other.  
 -  Thomas Paine
  

  If man asks for many laws it is only because he is sure that his neighbor needs them; privately he is an unphilosophical anarchist, and thinks laws in his own case superfluous.  
 -  Will Durant
  

  Criminal lawyer. Or is that redundant?  
 -  Will Durst
  

  The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.  
 -  Will Rogers
  

  Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.  
 -  Will Rogers
  

  I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.  
 -  Wilson Mizner
  

  Some men are heterosexual and some men are homosexual, and some men don't think about sex at all. They become lawyers.  
 -  Woody Allen