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Men's Quotes


  A man is as old as he feels, a woman as old as she looks.  
 -  English proverb
  

  A gentleman opposed to their enfranchisement once said to me, 'Women have never produced anything of any value to the world.' I told him the chief product of the women had been the men, and left it to him to decide whether the product was of any value.  
 -  Anna Howard Shaw
  

  Men are by nature merely indifferent to one another; but women are by nature enemies.  
 -  Arthur Schopenhauer
  

  Life is too short to be little. Man is never so manly as when he feels deeply, acts boldly, and expresses himself with frankness and with fervor.  
 -  Benjamin Disraeli
  

  Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years.  
 -  Betsy Salkind
  

  A woman simply is, but a man must become. Masculinity is risky and elusive... and it is confirmed only by other men.  
 -  Camille Paglia
  

  The ladies usually go for the biggest damn fool they can find; that is why the human race stands where it does today: We have bred the clever and lasting Casanovas, all hollow inside, like the chocolate Easter bunnies we foster upon our poor children.  
 -  Charles Bukowski
  

  Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only if they are determined to be so. For glory gives herself only to those who have always dreamed of her.  
 -  Charles De Gaulle
  

  A man is what a woman makes him and a woman makes herself.  
 -  Charlie Chaplin
  

  Men aren't necessities, they're luxuries.  
 -  Cher
  

  If a man talks bad about all women, it usually means he was burned by one woman.  
 -  Coco Chanel
  

  Using a complex, sophisticated technique to get a man excited is like preparing a gourmet French meal for a Labrador Retriever.  
 -  Dave Barry
  

  My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.  
 -  Elayne Boosler
  

  A man.. is so in the way in the house.  
 -  Elizabeth Gaskell
  

  I suppose when they reach a certain age some men are afraid to grow up. It seems the older the men get, the younger their new wives get.  
 -  Elizabeth Taylor
  

  Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.  
 -  Erica Jong
  

  Man's best possession is a sympathetic wife.  
 -  Euripides
  

  I never liked the men I loved, and never loved the men I liked.  
 -  Fanny Brice
  

  If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.  
 -  Florynce Kennedy
  

  If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.  
 -  Fran Lebowitz
  

  Men decided a few centuries ago that any job they found repulsive was women's work.  
 -  Frances Gabe
  

  The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.  
 -  Friedrich Nietzsche
  

  Years ago manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to overcome.  
 -  Garrison Keillor, The Book of Guys: Stories, 1994
  

  Manhood at the most basic level can be validated and expressed only in action.  
 -  George Gilder, Sexual Suicide
  

  A real man will never let his fear of death overpower his honor, his sense of duty to his country, and his innate manhood.  
 -  George S. Patton
  

  A man is only as old as the women he feels.  
 -  Groucho Marx
  

  A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.  
 -  H. L. Mencken
  

  When a man gets the right kind of wife, his career is made - and I just got that.  
 -  Harry Truman
  

  A man not honorable in his marital relations is not usually honorable in any other.  
 -  Harry Truman
  

  The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.  
 -  Helen Rowland
  

  Years ago manhood was an opportunity for achievement, and now it is a problem to overcome.  
 -  Garrison Keillor, The Book of Guys: Stories, 1994
  

  Manhood at the most basic level can be validated and expressed only in action.  
 -  George Gilder, Sexual Suicide
  

  A real man will never let his fear of death overpower his honor, his sense of duty to his country, and his innate manhood.  
 -  George S. Patton
  

  A man is only as old as the women he feels.  
 -  Groucho Marx
  

  A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.  
 -  H. L. Mencken
  

  When a man gets the right kind of wife, his career is made - and I just got that.  
 -  Harry Truman
  

  A man not honorable in his marital relations is not usually honorable in any other.  
 -  Harry Truman
  

  The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.  
 -  Helen Rowland
  

  Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.  
 -  Jackie Mason
  

  I mean to make myself a man, and if I succeed in that, I shall succeed in everything else.  
 -  James Garfield
  

  It's absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.  
 -  Jarod Kintz
  

  According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about women is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.  
 -  Jay Leno
  

  Men talk to women so they can sleep with them, and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.  
 -  Jay McInerney
  

  Shopping is like sex for men too. They can only manage it for 5 minutes and then they get tired.  
 -  Jeff Green
  

  Feng Shui is the ancient Chinese art of getting men to put the toilet lid down.  
 -  Jeff Green
  

  For a man, sex is hunger. If he can't get to a fancy French restaurant, he'll go to a hot dog stand.  
 -  Joan Fontaine
  

  I'm the stuff men are made of!  
 -  John Wayne
  

  Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women.  
 -  Leo Tolstoy
  

  A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright.  
 -  Lucille Ball
  

  A hard man is good to find.  
 -  Mae West
  

  Men are like cigars, If you don't attend to them, they go out.  
 -  Mae West
  

  A man in the house is worth two in the street.  
 -  Mae West
  

  Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.  
 -  Margaret Fuller
  

  Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to be as mediocre as possible.  
 -  Margaret Mead
  

  The more I see of men, the better I like dogs.  
 -  Marie-Jeanne Roland
  

  A strong man doesn't have to be dominant toward a woman. He doesn't match his strength against a woman weak with love for him. He matches it against the world.  
 -  Marilyn Monroe
  

  In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on a woman.  
 -  Nancy Astor
  

  Man has his will, but woman has her way.  
 -  Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
  

  This is the test of your manhood: How much is there left in you after you have lost everything outside of yourself?  
 -  Orison Swett Marden
  

  Men become old, but they never become good.  
 -  Oscar Wilde
  

  Good looks are a snare that every sensible man would like to be caught in.  
 -  Oscar Wilde
  

  When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.  
 -  Prince Philip
  

  There is, of course, no reason for the existence of the male sex except that sometimes one needs help with moving the piano.  
 -  Rebecca West
  

  Women need to feel loved and men need to feel needed.  
 -  Rita Mae Brown
  

  When God made man she was practicing.  
 -  Rita Mae Brown
  

  If you never want to see a man again say, 'I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks.  
 -  Rita Rudner
  

  Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, 'Are we going to have sex again?' He said, 'Yes, but not with each other.'  
 -  Rita Rudner
  

  Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get bigger and longer.  
 -  Rita Rudner
  

  To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'  
 -  Rita Rudner
  

  Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.  
 -  Rita Rudner
  

  Once a month, some women act like men act all the time.  
 -  Robert A. Heinlein
  

  The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.  
 -  Samuel Johnson
  

  A boy finds a girl to go bed with; a man finds a woman to wake up to.  
 -  Sean Stephenson
  

  A woman should soften but not weaken a man.  
 -  Sigmund Freud
  

  Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.  
 -  Socrates
  

  A man will never love you or treat you as well as a store. If a man doesn't fit, you can't exchange him seven days later for a gorgeous cashmere sweater. And a store always smells good. A store can awaken a lust for things you never even knew you needed. And when your fingers first grasp those shiny new bags...  
 -  Sophie Kinsella
  

  If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?  
 -  Steven Wright
  

  Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own.  
 -  Sydney Harris
  

  Men should be disqualified for public office. Women should run the planet. They're better than us.  
 -  Ted Turner
  

  Men were born between a woman's legs and spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in them. There's no place like home.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Sometimes, men are like mascara...They usually run at the first sign of emotion...  
 -  Unknown
  

  Men are like trees, they take forever to grow up.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Never marry a man who hates his mother, because he'll end up hating you.  
 -  Unknown
  

  No man should ever make eye contact with another man while eating a banana or lollipop...  
 -  Unknown
  

  Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance. Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair. Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage. Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Men use thought only to justify their wrongdoings, and speech only to conceal their thoughts.  
 -  Voltaire
  

  Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.  
 -  Woody Allen
  

  Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him to fish and you get rid of him for the entire weekend.  
 -  Zenna Schaffer
  

  To a smart girl men are no problem - they're the answer.  
 -  Zsa Zsa Gabor
  

  Macho does not prove mucho.  
 -  Zsa Zsa Gabor