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Television's Quotes


  Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.  
 -  Alfred Hitchcock
  

  When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships.  
 -  Andy Warhol
  

  Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.  
 -  Ann Landers
  

  Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.  
 -  Bill Gates
  

  I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.  
 -  Bill Hicks
  

  Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?  
 -  Bob Hope
  

  Advertising. The movies do it. TV does it. Why don't you do it?  
 -  Dale Carnegie
  

  Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.  
 -  David Letterman
  

  Action is about living fully. Inaction is the way we deny life. Inaction is sitting in front of the television every day for years because you are afraid of expressing what you are. Expressing what you are is taking action... Without action upon an idea, there will be no manifestation, no results, and no reward.  
 -  Don Miguel Ruiz
  

  Successful people follow independent paths. They break away from the crowd. They join a smaller crowd. They don't have the television on all the day long. They use their time constructively. It's easier to win! There is less competition up there and the view is better.  
 -  Earl Nightingale
  

  Television is chewing gum for the eyes.  
 -  Frank Lloyd Wright
  

  If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.  
 -  Frank Zappa
  

  Imitation is the sincerest form of television.  
 -  Fred Allen
  

  There's all this talk about violence on TV causing violence on the streets. Well, there's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy on the street?  
 -  George Carlin
  

  Television is very educational. Every time it comes on, I go into another room and read a book.  
 -  Groucho Marx
  

  I've got other things to do besides watch television.  
 -  Harry Truman
  

  Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.  
 -  Homer Simpson
  

  It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.  
 -  Homer Simpson
  

  I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.  
 -  Homer Simpson
  

  There's all this talk about violence on TV causing violence on the streets. Well, there's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy on the street?  
 -  George Carlin
  

  Television is very educational. Every time it comes on, I go into another room and read a book.  
 -  Groucho Marx
  

  I've got other things to do besides watch television.  
 -  Harry Truman
  

  Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.  
 -  Homer Simpson
  

  It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.  
 -  Homer Simpson
  

  I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.  
 -  Homer Simpson
  

  With high definition TV, everything looks bigger and wider. Kind of like going to your 25th high school reunion.  
 -  Jay Leno
  

  I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of programmes. Do you want me to watch the show, or do you want me to read the strip? Don't these idiots who run the networks know we don't want to read? That's why we're watching TV.  
 -  Jerry Seinfeld
  

  Successful people have libraries. The rest have big screen TVs.  
 -  Jim Rohn
  

  If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.  
 -  Joey Adams
  

  If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace.  
 -  John Lennon
  

  Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.  
 -  Johnny Carson
  

  Now the freaks are on television, the freaks are in the movies. And it's no longer the sideshow, it's the whole show. The colorful circus and the clowns and the elephants, for all intents and purposes, are gone, and we're dealing only with the freaks.  
 -  Jonathan Winters
  

  One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.  
 -  Kurt Vonnegut
  

  Television is a weapon of mass distraction.  
 -  Larry Gelbart
  

  I am sick of parents blaming the violence on television as the reason their kid just blew up the neighbor's dog or for school shootings. Violence on television and in the movies is too prevalent - I will give you that... But lousy parenting is the real cause of messed up kids.  
 -  Larry Winget
  

  Life is short - don't waste it in front of the television.  
 -  Larry Winget
  

  Thanks to television, for the first time the young are seeing history made before it is censored by their elders.  
 -  Margaret Mead
  

  We owe a lot to Thomas Edison. If it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.  
 -  Milton Berle
  

  I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts.  
 -  Orson Welles
  

  The average TV commercial of sixty seconds has one hundred and twenty half-second clips in it, or one-third of a second. We bombard people with sensation. That substitutes for thinking.  
 -  Ray Bradbury
  

  Art is moral passion married to entertainment. Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television.  
 -  Rita Mae Brown
  

  Television leaves no external scars.  
 -  Robert A. Heinlein
  

  The best way to influence your kids is to walk the talk... Don't preach the beauty of books and learning and then head into your family room to watch three hours of MTV.  
 -  Robin Sharma
  

  The happiest people I know don't watch TV, they read books.  
 -  Sean Stephenson
  

  The facts of life are that a child who has seen war cannot be compared with a child who doesn't know what war is except from television.  
 -  Sophia Loren
  

  We think basically you watch television to turn your brain off, and you work on your computer when you want to turn your brain on.  
 -  Steve Jobs
  

  Watching a bad TV program, we become the TV program. We are what we feel and perceive. If we are angry, we are the anger. If we are in love, we are love. If we look at a snow- covered mountain peak, we are the mountain. We can be anything we want, so why do we open our windows to bad TV programs made by sensationalist producers in search of easy money, programs that make our hearts pound, our fists tighten, and leave us exhausted?  
 -  Thich Nhat Hanh
  

  Watch out for media programming, the constant suggestive influence from radio, television, newspaper, magazines, and billboards. It's estimated that the average American is exposed to more than 1,500 advertising messages each day. If you think like the masses think, you'll get what the masses get.  
 -  Tommy Newberry
  

  People think I hate sex. I don't. I just don't like things that stop you seeing the television properly.  
 -  Victoria Wood
  

  In Beverly Hills they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.  
 -  Woody Allen
  

  Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.  
 -  Woody Allen
  

  In Russia, we had only two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you, 'Turn back immediately to Channel One.'  
 -  Yakov Smirnoff
  

  Rich people have small TVs and big libraries, and poor people have small libraries and big TVs.  
 -  Zig Ziglar
  

  Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Art may imitate life, but life imitates TV.  
 -  Ani Difranco
  

  People who change the channel every single time there's a commercial are more annoying than the commercials.  
 -  Unknown
  

  That awkward moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don't know what to do with your life any more.  
 -  Unknown
  

  Did you ever think about life as a metaphor for television?  
 -  Chuck Palahniuk
  

  Who needs television when you have so much drama on Facebook.  
 -  Unknown
  

  I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.  
 -  Unknown
  

  There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter, like watching TV, and taking naps!  
 -  Unknown